Lost & Found

“Off we go!” I thought as it was my last day of being an 8th grader at Hector P. Garcia Junior High. Oh boy, I was scared yet excited for new beginnings in this long journey of high school. All of my friends were going to the same high school, Adamson, which was no more than five minutes from Garcia. I was an outgoing person who had a head on her shoulders and was not going to let anything or anyone get in the way of enjoying her four years of high school. Instead of following everyone else, I decided to move to another school, Sunset.

On the first day of school I was nervous because I didn’t know anyone, but I quickly made what it felt like long life friends. I think I settled in well, I was having a blast and made plenty of friends. It wasn’t long before all that came crashing down. Most of my friends either joined cheerleading or band. I didn’t follow behind them because it wasn’t something I wanted to do. Although they were busy we all made time for each other. By the end of freshman year I thought I met the boy that I was going to spend forever with, but it didn’t exactly turn out that way.

We talked and got to know each other a bit better, I really liked him. Eventually things got serious and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I never thought that I would end up with a boyfriend. I was the prettiest, but he made me feel like I was. All was well until the middle of sophomore year. I knew things were coming to an end, but I chose to look past it because I “loved” him. I had caught him cheating once and he did it one last time. It kept getting worse and ended up in this huge altercation. He said to me: “I HATE YOU! I wish you were never born. You should kill yourself! NO ONE is going to miss you! If I could I would do it for you! You’re so ******* UGLY! Every time you look in the mirror I hope you remember these words and cry!” I stayed strong and made sure he didn’t get the satisfaction of breaking me. After the call, I cried. Yes, I tried to commit suicide. It failed.

After that, it got even worse! I was bullied by a couple of girls. I was scared to walk down a certain hallways because I didn’t want them to start bullying me again. I even tried to change schools, but the principal wouldn’t let me. The school counselor even asked me if I wanted someone to walk me to class. It was HUMILIATING!

It wasn’t until a month later, I found God. When I felt worthless, He thought I was WORTH IT! When I thought I was ugly, He thought I was BEAUTIFUL! When I thought I was broken, He pieced me back together! When I thought I had no purpose, He gave me this testimony! I began working in my church as an intern for our Youth Pastor. I was able to love myself again. I was able to speak out and tell other about my story. Little did I know, I was being abused, verbally abused. I was able to speak to my girls in the youth group about boys and what being an abusive relationship looks likes. Nonetheless, I have forgiven everyone involved because God is bigger than my problems.




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